WWTOMD? What would the old me do?

Old theaters, the ones with ornate carvings in the wooden banisters and large glistening chandeliers high in the arched ceiling, have thick, velvet curtains which hang, brushing the surface of the stage. Modern theaters have machines that open those curtains in one smooth, continuous movement. But theaters with seasoned character have a pulley threaded with thick ropes hiding backstage. A stage hand watches the show, with his hand on the ropes, waiting for the closing cue. He watches actors dressed in fantastical costumes moving around the spacious dark, wooden floor. At just the right moment, he reaches as high as he can, tightly grasps the rope, and heaves downward. Again he reaches, grabs, and pulls in a long, downward stroke. The curtain swishes in choppy segments until the edges of the curtain overlap at center stage.

With out my noticing it, the curtains on the stage of my mind have been swishing closed a little bit at a time as things got hard. Like seeing through an old key hole as opposed to throwing the door wide open to view the whole room. As a youth I thought so optimistically! How big could I dream?! How exciting could life be?! I used to dream of my six future children - enough to have my own basketball team, our happiness, our amazing family devotionals, reading stories, using puppets, baking cookies together, and climbing mountains! I foresaw my beautiful wee babes sitting at my feet singing while I play the piano. Curtains wide open, full stage, thoughts and dreams dancing across the entire wooden floor.

Through time I started to experience more "failures" and stumbling blocks than dream-fulfilling moments. Pull by pull my curtain started to close. Example, instead of being excited to put out Christmas decorations to make the Christmas season as magical as possible for my family, my thoughts swirled around how much more work it was, how hard it was to find gifts my children actually love, all the extra things on the schedule. See the curtains? Narrow. It's self-focused thinking. How does everything affect ME? Now, I'm all about self care and preservation! But it must be kept in check, in balance.

I had the glorious realization of my semi-closed curtains at church. We were visiting my younger brother and his family for Thanksgiving. He and his beloved just so happened to be assigned the worship sermons that Sunday. My sister-in-law, who I'm constantly inspired by as I observe how she lives, taught about spiritual gifts; what are they, identify the ones you have, use them to bless yourself and those around you, and use them to build God's kingdom on earth. It was beautifully delivered and deep in truth, but the part that struck me to my center was a seemingly insignificant question in her conclusion. It was so humbly asked I almost missed it! "Are we using the best part of our talents & gifts in our homes to bless our families or are we only giving them whatever we have left over?" A light illuminated inside me! Somehow, in my self-centered, semi-closed curtain ways I had forgotten to FOCUS my amazing gifts and talents to their greatest potential inside my own home! Suddenly forgotten visions returned! Yes decorating for Christmas takes time, BUT, the time is something I now loving sacrifice because I'm thinking of others first. Instead of getting so frustrated when my kids won't go to bed because they want more of my attention I'm using that to my advantage!  I grab one more snuggle and give one more kiss. You know the phrase, "what would Jesus do?" Well, I've started thinking, "what would the old me do?" It's reminding me of who I really am! My dreams are still within my reach. Everything is the same, yet everything is different, just by changing the way I'm choosing to think about things. Yes, Son just bumped his plate of pancakes and syrup on the floor, and then his cup of milk just seconds later, but he was so sweet when he tucked his chin and said, "I'm sorry, Mommy." What am I going to "see?" The mess or my son's humble apology?

Check your curtains. Do we need a paradigm shift? Life is definitely a lot less stressful with my return to optimism! Use what makes you special in your most important relationships, and if you can't recognize your spiritual gifts just pray. Ask your Creator, who loves you the most, to illuminate your mind to the gifts He has placed upon you. If you want to learn more about spiritual gifts and get ideas how to nurture them go to lds.org and type "spiritual gifts" in the search box and feast away! And let's tie those curtains wide open!!!